The beggining...

So, most people know that we have been through a difficult time over this last year, but most do not know the details of it. As we are coming out of this trial and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, I finally feel ready to recount our experiences. This will take multiple posts... and a lot of this is a sort of therapy for me, so forgive me if it's a little rough and raw.

In the fall of 2011 Daniel and I decided we were ready to have another child. After going to my regular obgyn, knowing that I had low progesterone levels, and having that yeild no results, we decided that instead of a couple of years of waiting and heartache to get pregnant (like we did with Jacob) we would go see a fertility doctor.
 Dr. Danashmand was a great doctor. I went through a lot of testing to see why it was hard for me to get pregnant and was diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome. It was actually a relief to know what was happening to me and to have a doctor that told me I could get pregnant with his help. So we started treatment, I did clomid, hormones, and shots. I had to go in every other morning for 2 weeks straight and certain times of the month to get my blood drawn (this was not easy for me because I am afraid of needles). The different medicines and hormones made me crazy and emotional and angry at the silliest things. But after 3 rounds of treatment (3 months) I got pregnant!!

We were so happy and feeling so blessed. We had a great house, Daniel had a job (he didn't like what he was doing, but he was getting paid), we had a pretty good life...

I started to get sick pretty fast (I think due to the hormones they were pumping me with just to make sure I would stay pregnant) and I wanted to get some fresh air. At 6 weeks pregnant Daniel and I took Jacob to a friends cabin at Duck Creek. On the way up, Daniel told me that he had been let go that day. His boss was someone that we went to church with and we felt pretty angry for a while. We have both learned a lot about forgiveness and understanding. Now, I honestly think they thought he could run right out and get another job right away. None of that mattered at the time though, we had just gotten pregnant, spent most of our savings to get that way, we had no insurance, a house payment, a kid at home and no income. I couldn't even help with picking up hours at Gymboree because I had gotten so sick I could barely walk most days and couldn't go to work myself. We tried to remain positive and remember the good in life, like Jacob and how joyful he was. But life was getting scarier as the weeks of unemployment and no insurance went on.