Wednesday, August 28, 2013

The First Miracle

It was the end of September when Daniel got laid off. A year after we decided to add to our family and our dream came true and our life was crushed all at the same time (we have been on a crazy emotional roller coaster). So after we got back from our friends cabin, Daniel finished up at work and started looking for jobs. Pictured below is me and Jake at the cabin.

 I began to look on the bright side, Daniel was home with us helping with all the housework and taking care of Jacob while I was sick and throwing up everytime I tried to eat...or walk...or smile (ok the last one was an exaggeration). During this time Daniel was also going to interviews, applying for jobs, going out and making contacts. He really tried everything he could to get another job. In the meantime I started to work on getting Medicaid for my pregnancy (I will try not to rant about that experience too much, but I will say, the system is broken and failing). It was all very overwhelming. One day 2 ladies from church came over and we were going over things for my new calling (everyone in our church is a volunteer no one gets paid, so the church runs by people getting "callings", or jobs) I was going to be a cub scout leader. I don't remember what happened, but I ended up crying hysterically about what was happening and how scared I was. That afternoon, these 2 sister contacted the relief society president (the women's leader for the congregation) and they had set up a mealtrain for me to have people bring my family food 3 times a week. They told me what they had done, logged on to the mealtrain website and found that it was already full with volunteers for the next 2 weeks!
It was so touching, I sat and just cried (there is a lot of crying when I'm pregnant) I was so grateful to these 2 women that saw that I needed help and went to work right away to make sure my family was fed. And the most wonderful thing is, the people who had signed up to bring us food didn't even know what was happening with my family. That is what is so awesome about church people, they see a need and fill it without question or reason.
That was our first miracle.
I didn't have to worry about food and I didn't have to cook. Every time I went into the kitchen I threw up, so thank goodness someone else was cooking for me 3 times a week. I was so sick until about 20 weeks. I lost a total of 13 pounds. I didn't look so good.
Pictured below is me sleeping with Jake. I did this a lot during my first trimester.

Saturday, August 17, 2013

The beggining...

So, most people know that we have been through a difficult time over this last year, but most do not know the details of it. As we are coming out of this trial and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, I finally feel ready to recount our experiences. This will take multiple posts... and a lot of this is a sort of therapy for me, so forgive me if it's a little rough and raw.

In the fall of 2011 Daniel and I decided we were ready to have another child. After going to my regular obgyn, knowing that I had low progesterone levels, and having that yeild no results, we decided that instead of a couple of years of waiting and heartache to get pregnant (like we did with Jacob) we would go see a fertility doctor.
 Dr. Danashmand was a great doctor. I went through a lot of testing to see why it was hard for me to get pregnant and was diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome. It was actually a relief to know what was happening to me and to have a doctor that told me I could get pregnant with his help. So we started treatment, I did clomid, hormones, and shots. I had to go in every other morning for 2 weeks straight and certain times of the month to get my blood drawn (this was not easy for me because I am afraid of needles). The different medicines and hormones made me crazy and emotional and angry at the silliest things. But after 3 rounds of treatment (3 months) I got pregnant!!

We were so happy and feeling so blessed. We had a great house, Daniel had a job (he didn't like what he was doing, but he was getting paid), we had a pretty good life...

I started to get sick pretty fast (I think due to the hormones they were pumping me with just to make sure I would stay pregnant) and I wanted to get some fresh air. At 6 weeks pregnant Daniel and I took Jacob to a friends cabin at Duck Creek. On the way up, Daniel told me that he had been let go that day. His boss was someone that we went to church with and we felt pretty angry for a while. We have both learned a lot about forgiveness and understanding. Now, I honestly think they thought he could run right out and get another job right away. None of that mattered at the time though, we had just gotten pregnant, spent most of our savings to get that way, we had no insurance, a house payment, a kid at home and no income. I couldn't even help with picking up hours at Gymboree because I had gotten so sick I could barely walk most days and couldn't go to work myself. We tried to remain positive and remember the good in life, like Jacob and how joyful he was. But life was getting scarier as the weeks of unemployment and no insurance went on.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Moving in to our new house!

This whole pregnancy I was determined to get in to our house before the baby was born, everyone in the world told me not to count on it...but that just made me more determined. And what people might not know about me is if I'm really determined, not just kinda want something, but really "I need this" determined. I usually achieve my goal. So I knew it was gonna happen, I just had to make sure everyone stayed on top of what they were supposed to do. The loan officer got sick of me calling and e-mailing his 5 times a day (and that is not an exaggeration, i was on maternity leave, I didn't have anything else to do) and the construction manager on our house knew me by name. So Friday we got in and I had Charlie my floor guy laying down our new floor. My parents got in that night and we brought a couple of things over to the house that night but went back to Grandma Connie's to sleep.The next morning we got up at 6:30 to get over to the house early so Charlie and his crew could get to work early. They of course were late, but they worked fast and hard. During there install the cable guy came to get the cable set up at our house, then people advertising were walking up to us giving us stuff like crazy. My mom encouraged me to call all the window covering ads, so we ended up having people coming by to take measurements and give us an estimate, then Daniel came with the moving truck and his helpers. So to recap the people in my home at this point are; floor guys, cable guy, window guy, 10 guys from the elders quorum and my mom, dad, Daniel and me. It was a full crazy house. But everyone got done what needed to be done. The floor guys finished and they helped put in the appliances and I got some lights moved around. It was great! That night we had the kitchen almost all unpacked and the furniture arranged in a nice way. I felt great that it got done. We DID IT!! We had moved in to our house and the baby hadn't come yet! The Next day we went to see my friends baby Ethan be blessed. That' s when my mom started taking pictures.
She kept wanting pictures of me in the kitchen (I don't know why?)

The above picture is in front of our house about 12 hours before I went in to the hospital and 24 hours before my baby was born. (don't worry that post is next)

Monday, March 1, 2010

Baby Shower

I had my baby shower on the 20th of February. My sister-in-law threw it, so up until the day of the shower I had no idea what was really going to happen. Meagan is very fun loving and a bit over the top (which is one of the reasons we love her so much) and I didn't know how crazy she was going to get with this party. The theme was BABYWOOD! If you know me well, you know I would be happy with some sub sandwiches and costco cake! But it was great. I took a video of what it was like to walk in to my baby shower so those who couldn't come could experience it too.

A lot of people where not able to come, and I missed those people (and a chunk of people didn't get their invites...i think they got lost in the mail. I don't know), but I'm glad there weren't too many so that I had to constantly be greeting and introducing. My mom also took some pictures in the beginning when no one was there. Unfortunatly it was with my camera that doesn't like to be indoors for some reason, so the shots aren't fantastic but here are a few.Me and Meagan

Baby shower games (hollywood themed of course)

This was another "game", you where supposed to write wishes for Jacob to open and read at age 5, 8 and 12. I thought this was really clever and cute!

A had cala lillies and blue pacifiers.

My mom really wanted a picture of me eating (for some reason i don't know) so here it is!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Baby Scare

I had a baby doctors appointment this last Thursday (the first of my weeklies), while I was there they checked to see if I was dialated, effaced and how big the baby is. I am dialated to a 1 and effaced 30%, which is all good, but I measured the same as I did at my last appointment for baby size. Doctors try really hard not to freak you out, but they still do it. My doctors said, "hmmm, your still measuring really small, which could be ok! It just might mean you are going to have a 6 lb baby. But I want you to have an ultrasound as soon as you can so I can check to make sure he is growing symmetrically. " So on comes the panic and worry. I had dreams about my baby having one long arm and one short arm. And to make matters worse, when I told Daniel, this is how the conversation went down.

Me: "The doctor wants to check and make sure the baby is growing symmetrically"
Daniel: "Symmetrically? What does that mean exactly"
Me: "Well, like the baby could have a short arm with no elbow or something"
Daniel: "Oh no, that's not good. Then i would call the kid gimpy!"
Me: "You can't call your child gimpy!!"
Daniel:"Well, I would feel bad saying it! O.K. I'll call him Nemo."

My husband, always the sensitive one.

I did have my ultrasound the very next day, and even though I only waited 5 min in the lobby, it felt like forever. When they called me back, I held my breath as she did the first sweep around my stomach to take a quick look at everything. "Every thing looks pretty good. I'm just going to take some measurements now" *Exhale in relief*. It turns out that my baby is growing very well, he has long legs, lots of hair and is 6lbs 2oz so far. Apparently I'm just holding him in really tight. The most amazing measurement she took was his foot. It is 3 inches long already!! My boy has big feet just like his mommy did when she was born!

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Only 4 weeks left

I Can't believe I only have 4 more weeks! I'm so excited and nervous at the same time. I have my first childbirth class tomorrow night and a breastfeeding class on Tuesday. I'm thrilled that people are so nice to me and keep telling me I look great, but I am really feeling big. Not me really... but my belly. I have had this problem a lot where after sitting I stand up and my legs are numb and tingly because Jacob has just been chillin' in the right spot to cut off circulation. He still moves around A LOT!! So many people have told me that the movement slows down in the last 6 weeks, but my kid has not slowed down. It is painful sometimes, but I'm grateful to feel him because i know that means he is healthy and doing well. Here is the latest picture of me. I took it today right after church, because Sunday is pretty much the only day I do my hair.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Nuestra Casa

Enjoy some video of the latest work on our house.